What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
