Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
