i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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