so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Randomize
