hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
