come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
