He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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