Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
