So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
People in love make me want to vomit
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
