Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize