I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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