I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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