I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
