don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you had me at cake vodka
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
