Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
