You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
FUCK WHALES
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
