i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just threw up on my dentist
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
