Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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