i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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