Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
