wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
