If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
thus making me awesome and them whores
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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