just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
