She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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