I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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