It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
