But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
