So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
