I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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