Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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