After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
