Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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