About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
