it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize