i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
