Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
