i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
