so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
