you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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