before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
