Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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