I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
