i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Soap is not a condiment
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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