did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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