Your tits are I can't wait for
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
