OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
