I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
