would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
