I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize