I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
After tacos, we're chasing women.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
