Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
