I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
