i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
