got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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