i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
