Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
