im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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