You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize