Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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