why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
