there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
