Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
