"it" just moved
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
