ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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