I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I deserve this hangover.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
