I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
